Let’s be honest, you all knew this was coming somewhere. Just like those movies that you pick up from the library or the video store with the weird title that you watch so carefully until you find the title casually thrown out in the dialogue; or one of those books, where you spend half the chapters trying to figure out how it relates to the title at all… This is that post, where you will finally know what it’s all about. This is that post, where I begin to make sense.
First things first, though: Happy June!!! My sister’s open house for her high school graduation, and my brother’s birthday party have coincided on the same weekend. Major headache to both, even though a congratulations are in order…
Also: This post is, in truth, late. I meant to post this yesterday, on the actual first day of June, so as to clarify my “hiding out for a month”. I failed. Oh well.
With this in mind, I will now attempt to clarify my views on life, otherwise known as my “thought-isms” (come on, you have to admit that’s a little creative…?):
Costa Rica is possibly the ‘greenest’ place I know. I’m sure it’s due mostly to the overabundance of vegetation, the fact that land is spread out, and the ‘cities’ aren’t as densely populated as they are in the States… When I returned here, I was utterly repulsed by eating seafood, pork, chicken… well, meat. As I’ve regained my bearings, if you will, I have discovered that I really do like salads better. More, that I can eat chicken if I have to, I can eat seafood if I have to, but I honestly would just like some veggies. This has come as a crippling shock to my parents, who can remember back to the time when I used to turn my nose up at simple peas. I still don’t like green beans though. Weird.
Also, since being back, I have noticed the ingredients in foods and have started avoiding things with high fructose corn syrup (it gives me a stomachache anyway) and too many preservatives. I have also been trying (when I actually go to purchases) to buy things that were made from recycled materials, or things that were brought into the country by Fair Trade (not Free Trade).
I debated with myself (obviously) about putting in this category, but it seems appropriate, so now I’ll explain. My style of dress before I went to Costa Rica normally revolved around jeans and collared shirts. My style of dress after coming back has consisted of hippie skirts, bracelets, glasses (I have very stylish frames, thanks to my Aunt Linda!), tank tops, sandals, and collared shirts. I’ve even gone through my dresser drawers and filled a large garbage bag with clothes that I no longer use or don’t fit me. After the craziness of this coming weekend, I intend to wage the same judgment on my closet, and my two boxes of clothes in the basement. Having lived in almost utter simplicity in Nicaragua, and again in Panama, I really don’t need the extra baggage. I took one suitcase on my trip, and one suitcase back. While away, I didn’t even use all the clothes that I had brought. So, this tells me that I have been overly excessive in my life.
This one was also a huge internal crisis for me. Long story short: God appears in many very unusual and mystifying ways. To define ‘God’ would be to put him in a box. And as a finite human, that is a very dumb thing to do, as it is obvious my tiny intellect cannot handle such a vast concept. Personally, I think that even if a person did not believe in an omnipresent, omnipotent, omniscient being, they would come to believe in one just by being with the people I had the extreme privilege to meet. And not always because the people I met were “Christians”, but because they were completely and totally human. This level of interaction, and the honesty (or faults, as it may have been at times) left no doubt in my mind that these people were creations of a God. My favorite prof at Spring Arbor would corroborate my revelation, telling me I was seeing the imago dei, or the image of God in every person I met.
I’m okay with me now. Of course, many things have happened in the last month to make me okay with me. I have a better grasp of my many attributes and talents, and a better grasp of my faults. They are now a work in progress. I have accepted myself with both my likes/dislikes, my strengths/weaknesses, and my past/present/future, and I fully intend to move forward on this knowledge and self-reflection.
These were my biggest issues. With the help of family and friends, I have put into practice a theory I learned in one of my COM classes: Cognitive Dissonance. It states that where practice and belief come in conflict, either the practice will be changed, or the belief will be changed. Thus I have undergone a sort of transformation.
Perhaps I will touch again on this topic later. But for now, this post is long enough!