Another year has come and is leaving, as we watch the snow pile up on the sidewalk. I can truthfully say this has been the longest year of my existence; a year I will remember for life.
I have grown in more ways than one, and I hope you have too, Dear Reader. I have learned many timeless truths, and become more convinced of the Truth.
This is a question and commentary on my life (and possibly yours), so I am willing to speculate: what has had the most impact on my future life?
Before I went to Costa Rica, my posts revealed me for what I was truly feeling: panic, insufficiency, and a confusion of identity. I learned to love people through that experience of total surrender. I no longer allowed myself to be insecure; I just dealt with the problems and happenings as they came to me. I immersed myself in the culture with its people and tried to emulate the same reactions, emotions, and perspective they had already. I came to understand many of my “unanswered questions” I had grown up with: questions about etiquette, about responsibility, about my life. Going completely changed me.
When I returned to the country, my posts again showed me for what I was: confused and frustrated. I had never encountered an experience that left me speechless before, and thus I was frustrated at my inability to explain myself, both to people who were genuinely seeking an understanding, and those whose preconceived notions threw me off my guard. I fought for a truth I had never believed or stood for until this point, and lost many times, all the while knowing that my experience had taught me this truth beyond refute. Returning completely changed me as well.
I’ve taken classes, and I’ve learned and applied new concepts to my life. I’ve learned and applied new relational techniques to my connections with friends, family and roommates. I have sought out people to have conversations, and I have sought out enemies to make peace. I have actually tried to set aside my personal feelings and fear of pain in order to love others in a way I believe Christ has called me to love them.
I hope this can be my legacy, Dear Reader. I hope you can read this, and you can agree. I also hope that by writing this, you will look at your own life, and find what has shaped you too.
I wish you well, Dear Reader, as the back cover closes on this chapter of my life: A year of Change.