The One: Part II

Is there One soulmate for me? How can I find this person? Life will be better with this One, won’t it?

Another question I get is from people who are convinced life will only work out if they find The One. Let’s break this down:

According to Google, there are 7 billion people on earth. Out of those 7 billion people, we expect to find One soulmate.

Hmm. When would you like to start looking? Today, if possible. This second, more likely. In fact, empty your bank account and take a world-wide trip. See if you can spend the rest of your life looking for (and getting to know) One person with whom to spend…the rest of your life. I’m terrible at statistics, but I’d say you have a 1 in 7 billion chance of finding that person.

And even if The One is found, what now? Will they agree with our opinions? Will they like the same foods, dislike the same movies? Will they always take out the trash and put the toilet lid down?

Has anyone noticed that the world is made up of individuals? According to my dictionary, an individual is:

n. a particular thing or organism as distinguished from a group, species, etc.

Isn’t that interesting? The individual is “distinguished” from the whole. This is the reason why generalities are generally true, but can always be upset by at least one individual. So what exactly are we expecting when we dream of The One? Are we expecting that life will be perfect? Things will go our way? We will win the lottery? We will finally achieve our dreams?

It seems that, yes, this is exactly what we expect. Or, at least, this is what some people expect. As a married woman, let me clue you in. See that list above, the one about opinions and movies and that jazz? When we got married, we discovered that we had opposite opinions, opposite taste in movies, and–to top it off–we expected each other to conform automatically.

Being an individual means difference from the group. I could say, “My husband loves Chinese food,” but I could not say, “All men love Chinese food,” because my one husband is not all men. See the difference?

So then, marriage cannot ever be perfect, because it is the impossible fusing of two individuals with different thoughts and feelings. How can we expect to marry a clone? However, I might suggest that relationships–all of them–are compromises.

More later.


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