The One: Part IV

Who’s to blame for all this The One business? Disney? The media? My parents?

So, sorry, it doesn’t seem a logical conclusion, to believe in The One. If anyone finds a good argument in favor, I will be happy to hear it, but don’t expect to convince me. I am an individual, and my thoughts may not always align with yours–heck, my logic may not align with yours. But, such is life.

Now, on to the harder and more painful questions: why do we still want to believe in The One? Who teaches us to do so? Who tells us it’s a good idea? Why doesn’t anyone tell us to give it up?

We are NOT going to point the finger of blame at any one entity. Just understand that my life is not like yours, and yours is not like mine. I can only write from the limited scope of my personal experience, and from what I have understood of others’ personal experience. Therefore, I suggest that children can be impressed by many things at a young age. Yes, Disney has been blamed for supporting The One theories, but many of the Disney princess films (from which we get this idea) are fairy tales taken from The Grimm Brothers or from Hans Christian Andersen, among others. Many of these tales have been retold so that the originals are lost, but keep the important elements.

What about the media? We see celebrity magazines announcing a marriage with the headline “Why She’s The One” or “Why They’re Ready To Say ‘I Do’!” Is it fair to blame the media? Surely they wouldn’t print such titles…unless they were selling. And who is to say that more and more children DON’T see the magazines their parents read?

Further, should we blame the generation above us? Some of us see our parents grow to an old age in marriage together. Others see parents trying hard to “make this one work.” Still others are no longer surprised to learn of mom’s new boyfriend, or dad’s new fling. Unless we see an example of it, how can we expect to know what it takes to keep one relationship going, much less several?

Every person has problems of his or her own; to blame parents for being poor examples in one category is to judge them very harshly, and only takes the blame from me. However, I can draw on my personal struggles and apply them to the bigger picture. Perhaps a combination of the three may lead us to higher expectations than reality allows.

More later.


2 thoughts on “The One: Part IV

  1. Dustin Schwartz says:

    I agree with you on this topic. I *hate* how fatalism gets to masquerade as “romantic destiny.” It’s definitely perpetuated at the cultural level. Funny that you should mention Disney, though: one of the main reasons that I loved Frozen is that the Anna/Hans whirlwind romance and the subsequent events (trying not to be spoilery here) seem to be poking fun at the absurdity of The One.

  2. You know, everyone tells me to watch “Frozen” and I have yet to get it from the library… Mainly, this post was meant to deal with the “princess” movies in particular; I cannot count the number of Facebook statuses, Twitter updates, etc. that blame the “princess” movies for skewed expectations of love and men.

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