Well my week has been quite interesting. I mentioned on Monday that my coat had been misplaced. It was returned to me last night–hurray!!
Along with my coat, I had (in the pockets), my keys and hand-knitted mittens that my mother-in-law made to match my hat. I’m a firm believer in modesty, but my dress on Sunday was a little bit lower, so my high-necked coat helped to keep me warm between the car and the church.
Imagine my absolute shock and surprise when I went to put on my coat after the service, and found only my red scarf on the hanger! Matthew, ever the calm-during-the-storm, suggested we first check all the coat racks and scope the crowd, before we panicked. But, for naught. One of the church secretaries made a note of my coat description, and Matthew lent me his sports jacket to go home. It was cold.
Times like these, Reader, remind me of my absolute inability to sustain myself. I had only one coat; with it gone, there was no back-up, no net, no plan ‘B’ for the winter weather. I had to borrow Matthew’s jacket and practically run to the next warm location (our car). Then, all this week, M and I have shared one apartment key, rearranging our schedules so that we arrive home at the same time (or thereabouts).
Even when I try to have it together, Reader, I just don’t. Why? Because things happen. Things I can’t control. Things I can’t even plan to avoid. Oddly, although maybe it wasn’t so incongruous, this past week reminded me of several examples in the New Testament, about the poor and how they are at God’s mercy for everything they receive.
See, I’ve been trying to become more self-sufficient. I have an apartment, I have a job, I make money enough to buy groceries; I have clothes for the weather, I have a means of transportation–granted, a lot of these things are gifts and helps from others. However, they are meant to support me on my quest to become self-sufficient. And, what’s more, I tend to see them as things I can take care of so God can worry Himself about my other problems.
Is this the right attitude to have?
Perhaps, I should work harder to give thanks for the providence shown, and less as hard to “collect them all”. Surely, providence isn’t something I should hoard to bolster myself. Besides, reliance on God is less like a genie mentality, and more like care-giving mentality: when I need it, I should ask. But, I should not ask for things so I can check them off my list of living well. That’s just selfish and foolish. All I have is from God, and I want to pretend that somehow my minimal skills and laughable prowess are responsible? Pure hubris.
Yes, I probably contributed (I know you’re reading, Mom), but I have clear evidence that my blessings are not due solely to my inherent abilities. That’s why they are blessings.
So, someone mistook my coat for their own. It was returned yesterday, and the church secretary hung it on a music stand in the choir room, when I went in for practice. I’m so glad it’s back!
Learn thankfulness, Reader.